Are you a busy body? Do you feel more valued, accomplished when you are doing? The things you can check off the list in a day measures success.
I am with you. That is me. While my lists are rarely written out they are there mentally. As a single person, I ran myself ragged. Just doing. Building the business, volunteering, spending time with friends, chasing a career. This list isn’t bad, but when they became my center, my focus. I was lost. In some ways I was full yet my soul felt directionless.
After we were married I went through a season of empty…nothing. God used that time to teach me. To show me that life wasn’t about things, about doing stuff. Even the good stuff.
Life, my life was meant to live for Him. For my Creator, Lord, and Savior.
That season tore me up inside. I felt so broken, empty, dead. No job, no family nearby, no friends. It was just me. Just me and God. At the time it was painful. I was miserable. Now I see it a little differently. Now I see it was a season of growth. A season of learning to trust God to fill me, satisfy me. Not the world and the things in it. Some things and people are a good, however, when we rely on them for our strength and purpose we are losing. Losing the precious gift given to us through Jesus Christ…a personal relationship with our God.
No other offering needed. Jesus was enough, more than enough to bring us into communion with God.
Today I am struggling. Struggling with wanting to go out and do. Be busy. I feel anxious inside. As I started to write God reminded me of that season just three years ago. That season that felt empty. A season that in the end brought me nearer, nearer to my God. Instead of going out and finding busy I am choosing to rest, listen. In my resting, I see my longing isn’t for things. It isn’t to be busy doing, checking things off the list. No, my soul longs for more. My soul thirsts for connection with my Lord. My soul wants to be filled, satisfied in God.
Real heart filling is ONLY found through the connection, the working of the trinity…Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not just one gift, but three in one.
Psalm 143:5-6 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. ESV
Psalm 84:2 I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God. NLT
Psalm 119:81 My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word. ESV
Psalm 42:1-2a As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. NKJV