Diapers and messy-sticky fingers. I want mommy and tears when life doesn’t go her way. Needs surround with little time to rest, refresh. 24/7 being mom.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. I am priveleged to have such a gift. A gift I cherish. A gift I am continuely amazed by. The things God has taught me thhrough this gift in this last year…priceless.
Despite the truth that we are thankful and blessed, as moms, we still struggle. Day in and day out. We are feeding, bathing, clothing, playing with our little ones. They are needy. The obvious physical needs, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually they need us too. This is a high calling. The constant giving. Giving of ourselves. Our bodies, time, energy, resources. As moms, we give all of ourselves. Our children need us.
With all this love in my heart. With all this passion to do the right thing and provide for every need. I still have days, days when I want to lock myself in a closet just so I can have some alone time. Days when I dream of sitting on the beach with a good book. Days when I want to put head phones in to tune out all other noise.
I am not perfect. As much as I want to be everything for my daughter and husband, I can’t. As much as I wish I could be super mom, I am not. I am little ‘ole me with weakness and my own suitcase of self centeredness I carry.
There are days I longer for this season to hurry up. There are times I look at other woman and long to be in their season of life. There are days I just feel tired and woren out.
When I find myself longing, longing for the next season I remind myself: it is just a season. Remember as kids when spring arrived. We got so excited knowing that summer was just around the corner! Summer finally came. At times, even in the summer season, we found ourselves a little bored or lonely. Summer had its challenges too. The summer season wasn’t perfect either.
Wishing and hoping takes from the current season we are in. It steals from the joy we can have in our current season. Wishing and hoping robs us of experiencing contentment where we are at.
As I change another poopy diaper and hold my daughter as she cries from falling once again I will pause, breathe. This spring season can be enjoyed. I can smile because God has brought me here. This moment in time is for me. I can grow, learn, and find joy in it or I can pout and resist. I can be thankful or wish for something “better”.
Even in the days that I want to lock myself in a closet I am choosing to look to God. I don’t have the strength to be everything for my daughter and husband. That is not what God is asking of me. God is already The Everything. The Everything they need, I need.
He is Everything in this spring season and the summer one too. He is my hiding place. He is my closet. I can run to God. He is my shelter and strength on days when the needs seem too much. He is the provider in the current season and the ones to come.
Dear friend, don’t lock yourself in that closet. Don’t look around and wish. The needs are not too much, too great when you have, when you reach for The Everything. The only place we should be running, hiding, is in God. Our provider in every current season…
Worship Song- You Are My All in All:
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all
Songwriter: Dennis Jernigan
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation he will provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. ESV