Sometimes I don’t feel like being a servant. We are called. We are instructed to be servants. Yet many days that doesn’t feel good. Many days it is a fight to serve. To let go of self. To set aside my pride and selfish desires. Serving takes a deep look into the heart. Serving opens a window to my attitude and motives. Often, when that window is opened I don’t like what I see.
On the outside, the window looks squeaky clean. No spot or blemish. The inside, a disaster! Like a tornado touched down.
I see the debris from pride. Self-preservation. I see the pieces from selfishness. Doing what I want to do instead of God’s best for me. I see the turning over from fake identity. Trying to look good on the outside. From trying to serve to look good and please others.
The tornado has touched down. A mess inside. Suddenly, I am exposed and I see I am not me. I am not the daughter God has called me to be.
Can you remember I time when you served? I mean wholeheartedly served. What did it feel like? Was is difficult to let go, give of yourself?
Now remember a time when you served out of obligation or expectation. What did it feel like? Was is difficult to let go, give of yourself?
I imagine you can see a vast difference. Our heart condition makes a difference in serving. Dark, swirling funnel clouds or clear blue sky. Before you serve, before you clean your window…check the inside. It’s okay to let God in. Let Him clean the mess before others see. Let God be your relief efforts. Give Him a chance before you send your tornado in another’s direction.
As moms, our service, our letting go can seem overwhelming. Moment by moment in any given day we are serving. We are called to motherhood. We love being a mother, however some days feel HUGE! Some days strength to let go of one more things seems like it will break us. Like it will leave us with nothing, as a nobody – no identity.
On those hard days, remember this. True, selfless serving leads to our best identity. Serving our Father leads us to our identity as a daughter. Daughter of The KING. Serving, not because we have to or are expected to. Serving, serving in light of the truth. Serving to know Him. To know our Father in a deeper, transforming way.
I want to pause and clarify I don’t mean that you should allow yourself to be walked on by others. I am talking about the serving that God calls us to. Ask God. Listen to Him. He will let you know what that looks like.
Somedays, that tornado rages inside me. Somedays I am a weak mother, wife, and servant. Somedays I don’t want to do the dishes, laundry, or make the meals. Somedays those tasks are huge! But when I am still. When I listen to God. I hear Him whisper in my heart. It is not about the tasks. It’s not about the doing. It’s about the condition of your heart. It’s about letting go. Letting go of self and loving another. It’s truly loving. In true love, there is true giving. Servanthood.
Psalm 119:124-125 I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your decrees. Give discernment to me, your servant; then I will understand your laws. NLT
Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. ESV
Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. NKJV
25She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. NLT
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me. And lead me in the way everlasting. NKJV