Two days in a row now my daughter has asked to be put down for a nap. Her little body waddles toward me with her pink bear stuffed under her arm. At my feet, she begs to be picked up. Reaching down I gently lift her into my arms. Immediately she extends her arm in the direction of her bedroom door and repeatedly proclaims, “Be-be be-be!”
“Do you want your pacifier? Are you ready to rest?” I ask her.
She wiggles with excitement. And I know her answer is yes. Contently I place her down on jungle sheets.
Naps and bedtime were not always easy. I remember for the first six months of her life sleeping was a fight! She would scream and scream every time we tried to lay her down. At the time I was overwhelmed thinking she would never change. She would never understand that sleep was good. That sleep made her feel better.
Despite my fears, she has learned. She knows when she feels yucky and tired she needs rest.
The last two days have been difficult for me. I have been feeling discouraged, emotional, and lonely. I have had thoughts like, “Oh, if I could just get a break. Get away for a few hours. Or maybe if my family lived closer the days wouldn’t feel so long. Or if my husband surprised me and bought me flowers. Then maybe I would feel better. I wouldn’t feel so discouraged, emotional, and lonely.”
These thoughts are silly. Just like when my daughter was an infant and wanted to stay awake instead of sleep. Maybe for a time she would have been happy but the sleepiness would eventually overtake her. Likewise, maybe having a break, family close, or flowers would make me feel better for a moment.
The reality is that what I need for my discouragement and lonely self is God. His Word. Prayer. I feel dry because I have not been drinking these last few days. I am worn out because I haven’t been receiving nourishment from the Source. The Source of all strength, wisdom, love.
In the way my daughter has asked me for rest I need to ask my Father God for rest, restoration.
Matthew 7:7-8 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” NLT
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him ESV
1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ESV
Psalm 42:11 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. NKJV
Psalm 109:29 But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name’s sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver me! ESV