Defeated. A feeling of lost control. A sense of courage sucked from heart, mind. Defeated.
Some days I walk motherhood in steps of defeat. Heart heavy, head low. Somehow I feel inadequate to do something the Lord has called me to do…parent.
The messages I am trying to teach seem to be hitting concrete walls. Disciple ineffective. My dreams, my heart trampled by little feet.
Why does it feel so overwhelmingly difficult some days? Why do I feel swallowed in a dark hole of defeat?
Isn’t this parenting thing something the Lord impressed upon my heart? Didn’t I want to be a mother? Why then do I feel like a defeated failure?
As these thoughts and feelings well inside of me I remember the battle. The spiritual warfare raging around us. The fact that Satan wants to see us fall. Satan wants each one of us to feel defeated. To hang our heads low and give up.
The truth. God is calling us. Calling us to be mothers, teachers, missionaries, doctors whatever it is for you. God has called you there but that doesn’t mean a smooth ride. It means a daily growing, maturing, seeking Him. Reliance on Him. Not on the call itself or our abilities. Purely God’s power.
Life can feel overwhelming no matter where we are sitting. No matter if we think our pastures are brown or green. Walking with the Lord is not a straight easy ride. It’s a walk, sometimes a hike or even a full out rock climb. However, in those times of climb, I am confident God provides each one of us the equipment. The harness, rope, shoes, strength and courage. They are there. We just need to look, ask, let Him provide.
God desires to provide our EVERY need. Whether it is the strength to deal with a tantruming toddler or the courage to tell a family a frightening diagnosis.
God does not call us and then leave us. No, He calls us and faithfully provides every step of the way as long as we allow Him.
1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. NLT
Matthew 10:30-31 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. ESV
Ephesians 6:10-11 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ESV
John 10:3-4 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. NLT
Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. NIV