I slipped out of bed this morning overwhelmed by my own expectations. Consumed by my own thoughts. The to dos. Need tos. Want tos. And have tos. The seemingly never-ending chores that make up my life as mommy.
For me, there is a measure of satisfaction in completing tasks and mentally checking them off. A sort of identity gets wrapped up in role tasks. I find myself measuring my day by accomplishment. How many “mommy tasks” did I successfully complete? How many loads of laundry? How many floors shine? How many meals served? How many sinks free of scum?
This morning as I sit in the rare quiet. Alone. A household still breathing rhythmically. The smell of fresh cinnamon rolls and coffee tickling my nose. This morning as I sit in the quiet. As I embrace the calm. I think of all the tasks I strive to complete. All the numbers I want to add up in my head. All the ways I want to be viewed as a “good mommy”.
Yet it all seems a loss. All a waste if my identity is made up of the chores of life more than the moments. My focus more on stuff than the people.
As moms, our questions should move from tasks to moments. From laundry to people. The precious people God has given us to care for, gently care for.
How many hugs? How many kisses? How often did laughter ring through the home? Did I notice my husband’s needs? Did I witness my child discovering something for the first time?
Where was I today — in the tasks or touching hearts with the ones I love?
Where is your heart today?
1 John 4:11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. NIV
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. ESV
1 John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. NLT