It all started one night in front of a mirror, just brushing my teeth. These thoughts, these words filled me:

She dances
Dances on tip toes
Arms high, lips curve up
She dances happily

Inside a question burns
Behind it all
Am I beautiful, daddy?

She talks to him
Talks sweetly
Voice of expression, hands her props
She talks and they laugh

Inside a question burns
Behind it all
Am I beautiful, boy?

She stands, reflection staring back
First day at university
Excited, nervous
She stands, confident

Inside a question burns
Behind it all
Am I beautiful, me?

She walks
This is the day, the day awaited
Elegant steps, wearing white
She walks to aisle end, her hands in his

Inside a question burns
Behind it all
Am I beautiful, man?

She rocks
In nursery chair, expectation rising
Hands pause, rest on round tummy
She rocks, looks up to see him watching in doorway

Inside a question burns
Behind it all
Am I beautiful, husband?

She sits
Life quiet, empty nest
Alone, still
She sits, wonders

Has my question been answered,
Really answered?
Am I beautiful?

She reaches
Hand grasps dusty Bible
Flipping pages
She reaches into her heart this time

Inside a question burning
Am I beautiful…God?

The answer, there
In the still, the quiet
God is speaking
Has He been speaking all these years?

What heart ache
Her question fell unanswered, in complete
Again and again

But now…
“God, I am beautiful.”
“I am beautiful in Your eyes.”
“You delight in me.”

She dances
Dances on tip toes
Arms high, lips curve up
She dances joyfully
Am I beautiful, Daddy?

Heart knows the answer now
“Yes, my daughter, yes!”

She dances—held in His love.

Inside a question answered
Behind it all
I am beautiful!

Over and over again I see it. This question. Behind our faces. Our hearts ache for the answer.

This question while forcefully present is not spoken. We are taught to keep it from tongue. Despite all our attempts it seeps. Slips through heart cracks. And others see, if they are watching. They see the brokenness. The raw emotion. The question pouring.

Am I beautiful?

Do you see it? Do you recognize? Over and over, girls, women are asking…Am I beautiful? In what we wear? How we speak of ourselves and others? The things we gravitate towards and see as needs?

Women, every where are asking; asking dads, friends, husbands, and even strangers…Am I beautiful?

Over and over again our hearts break. An answer that hurts or no answer at all. Our faces harden. We think we are tough. Are we really? Are we really strong enough?

The question is not bad or wrong. Part of our nature. But are we seeking from the wrong source?

Should a clay pot ask a dress if he is beautiful?  No, the clay pot should ask the potter and the dress should ask the seamstress. Should he not ask the one who created him? It makes sense, right? The creator knows best, knows what its creation was designed to look like and do.

Its a struggle for me. I still ask the wrong people. I still seek the approval of others over my Creator. I still long to be the pretty princess dancing about the room.

God is teaching me, reminding me His love and approval are what I need, what we all need. I am beginning to see my beauty through Him more and more.

Next time you feel the question rising look to your Creator to answer the question that burns inside you. Ask Him…go on…He’s listening.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14 ESV