Tired. Frustrated. I plopped myself at the dinner table. My dear husband being the observant man that he is, began to pray, thanking God for the meal before us. As he prayed the words coming from his lips quickly poured right into my heart. He prayed for my patience. That I could hold fast in the trying and that he would not be a burden to my already frustrated soul.
Those words struck deep down. Not in a piercing kind of way but in an eye opening, heart examining kind of way.
I didn’t even realize as I sat at the table why I felt so tired, worn out and undone.
It was my patience. My patience was being tried as my toddler whined and fussed as I prepared the food. My patience was running low after an hour of constant “no! do not touch.” And watching out of the corner of my eye as the kitchen and living room turned into a disaster area.
A toddler can test patience like I have never experienced before. Some days my lid wants to blow off. Some days I have to step into the bathroom (very quickly otherwise she will be in there with me) and just breathe.
I didn’t know this parenting journey would be so completely refining. No one can prepare you for the daily testing. The daily growing your heart experiences. Both in the areas of love and patience.
Now that I can see what is happening. Now that my heart eyes have been opened to the refining that is taking place. I want to strive to grow instead of melt. Endure.
These daily trials can produce endurance. Endurance can then grow in me a character more like Christ.
Days can be long and hard as our patience is tried. Overwhelming even at times. However, I confidently believe the daily experiences we have are creating a greater work in us than we can see. Then we will ever see on this earth.
If you are tired, exhausted, frustrated today I pray you find hope and encouragement in these words. That the fire you feel is refining. That the daily battle will not overtake you.
While your patience is tried remember the beautiful product after refining. And cling to these precious scriptures:
Colossians 1:11-12 We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. NLT
Romans 5:3-5 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. NLT
Colossians 3:12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ESV
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ESV
As I sit here and reflected on past days in motherhood with my own toddlers and then thought about loved ones caring for aging spouses with memory problems, the opportunities for our spiritual growth do not end. It is helpful to look beyond the minute by minute and see what God is doing not only to use me in the lives of others but how He is growing me to be more like Himself. The Romans 5 passage has always been a favorite and now I know why, it gives practical purpose to my days with the hope of glory as my goal.