Oh, how life has changed! Toys between my bottom and the couch cushion. A baby nursing on the right side and a toddler tugging my arm on the left. The smell of poo lingering for hours. Random sticky spots on the wood floor. Somehow it is noon and I haven’t washed my hair or brushed my teeth. I gave up reheating my coffee hours go and I can’t remember what day of the week it is.
This crazy, messy life. The hardest thing I have ever done. The day to day. The tears, the joys. Every day an adventure full of mundane and miracles. Miracles like growing. Like grace. Like strength. Like love. Every day I have the privilege of beholding a great beauty.
The growing of my daughters. The growing of my own heart and soul. The transforming of these babies He has entrusted to me. And the transforming of my selfish heart. A daily dying to give. To give without envy, bitterness or frustration. Every day is an opportunity to let Jesus love through me.
So often I fail. Just yesterday I was a mess. A tired, emotional mess. Feelings of failure running rampant in my mind and heart. “I am a horrible mother.” “I want just 5 minutes to be alone, untouched, not needed.”
Yesterday I was a mess. However today, I find grace. Grace to start fresh. To hold my 2 month old as she screams knowing that I have the strength to endure. God placed this precious crying baby into my arms and He is going to provide for us both. To look at my 2-year-old as she throws another tantrum and know that I have the strength to parent well. Not because of my skills or the parenting videos I’ve watched, but purely due to the faithfulness of my God. He gave me this role as mommy. He will give me the grace and strength to get up each morning and “do it”.
The same is for you, sister. You may feel like you failed yesterday but today is here and now. Today, right now God is offering us grace, strength.
Every day as moms we get to partake in the miracle of love. Our young children love us unconditionally. We, as moms are everything to them. We provide and therein have many amazing opportunities to point them to the Saviour. Through our acts, reactions, disciple, playtime and mealtime. We have the ability to love them in a way that reflects Jesus.
It is a high calling. It is a difficult calling. Somedays I have wanted to crawl in a hole. However, I want to encourage you. Don’t give up. Keep asking for the miracles. Keeping looking for them too. As He provided that child in your arms He will provide the tools as well.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. NIV
Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. NLT
Matthew 18:2-4 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ESV