As children we are taught to be polite and included in that is expressing compliments to others. When we notice a quality in others or enjoy their talent, we say a compliment.
When I was a child compliments made me smile and gave me a confidence boost. Somewhere in adulthood though that changed. Somewhere I got the idea that putting myself down, counter acting the compliment was the less prideful thing to do.
Sadly, I am not alone in this. I have meet and heard many women who struggle with compliments. We can freely give them, yet when it comes to accepting…we run in the opposite direction!
Is it humble to reject a compliment and put ourselves down? Does this reaction show Jesus’ love and character?
James 4:6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. ESV
Pride has many forms. Pride can even look like humility at times. If we are putting ourselves down to “look” humble is that truly humility?
We are created in His image. In beauty and character. (Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. ESV) Sister, it is okay to accept a compliment. Accepting a compliment doesn’t necessarily mean you are proud. Accepting a compliment can mean you see your worth and value in Christ. It means you know you are loved and accepted.
Next time someone compliments you, think about it. Let it sink in, say thank you to the word’s owner, and then bring it to God. He will examine your heart. If you ask He will show when pride is seeping in. (Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! ESV) God will also let a little compliment cheer you up because He loves you. Often times a compliment toward you is a compliment to God. He created you after all. Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. ESV
Breathe in. It’s okay to let God love on you through another’s words. It’s okay to let go of the fear.
Psalm 25:9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. ESV
Psalm 34:2 My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. ESV
Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. ESV
In the past false humility for me came from a lack of self esteem or confidence thinking I was not worthy of such a compliment. Recognizing where my gifts, talents and abilities came from, helped me to see that the compliments were really from God to encourage me to use these gifts, talents and abilities for His glory.