Psalm 139 has always been one of my favorite Psalms. It reminds me of God’s presence, that He is all knowing, and in love with His creation. Verses 2 through 16:
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You them me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. ESV
I am humbled by his love and power. I am comforted by His strength and purpose. When I read these words, reflect, I feel known. Don’t we all long for that? Long to be understood, known. My husband knows me better than any other human being, yet God is more. When I sit with Him, my Father, I feel a beautiful sense of freedom, acceptance, and knowledge.
While God fills me and sustains me there is another aspect. The humbling, breaking, correcting. Painful and uncomfortable at times. Still, despite the pressing on the heart, there is a greater sense of freedom in the letting go and reshaping. As the years have gone I have seen the fruit that good pruning provides. It is good. God is good.
Psalm 139: 23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! ESV
The searching, the finding out, the pain of seeing my weaknesses; it humbles me. I don’t like it, but I know it is for good. I know the letting go is leading “me in the way everlasting”. I don’t know about you, but that’s the way I want to go…
Matthew 7:17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. ESV
Matthew 12:33 Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. ESV
John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ESV
I think most Christians miss this essential part of being a follower of Jesus. Following Christ means that we are not going our own way and doing our own thing. This is not something we naturally do and it is very painful to let go of our will. Yet, only true freedom and peace is found in “the way everlasting” and I am thankful we are learning to walk that road together!
This is my favorite Psalm. Though I did memorize it at one time, I cannot quote it like I once did but I go to it often to be reminded of who my God is. A healthy relationship does require encouragement and challenge. One without the other would not be love.