It seems a life long struggle. An area God continues to work inside of me. A place of vulnerability. Described in one word…CHANGE. It can be a good change…having a baby, getting married. Or difficult change a friend moving, a dream falling through, job loss.
Change, no matter the kind pulls at my core. Change causes my heart to ask questions like Why? Does God really know what is best for me? Does God care? Does God see the pain? These questions lead me to a place of doubt and discouragement. A place where I toss faith and love aside all because of my feelings. All because I think I know what I need. But do I? Do I really know what is best for me in every moment?
God is all knowing, all powerful, all present.
I know very little. I am weak. I fail to be present.
Despite the fact, I want to know best. Despite my tendency to want to be in control. I am not. I am not in control. However, that does not make life an out of control chaos. A life surrendered to Him is not chaos. It is ordered, directed in His knowledge, power, and presence.
Change is difficult. Change goes against our human instincts.
Lately, God has been reminding me. Reminding me that change is something beyond the physical and emotional. Change leads to growth. If I am not changing I am not growing. It is in change that God is working on my spiritual growth. In change, there is an opportunity for faith to grow, love to endure, and trust to hold. Yes, change is difficult. Beyond the friction of change is a growing, a deeper molding into Christ’s image.
As a mother, I want to see my daughter learn, grow and develop. I do not wish for her to be a baby forever. No, I want to see her grow into a child, teenager, and finally an adult. In order to grow, she will change in all aspects, physical, emotional and spiritual. She will need to change. It will be difficult at times yet, in the end, the change will bring about the growth she needs.
Today, I let go. Let go of the desire to control. I let go of the thought that I know better. Today, with open hands, trusting heart I accept both the present and future changes that will lead to growth. The changes that will bring me closer to my Father. I resolve that there is no better place then to be nearer to my Lord, Saviour, and God. The One who is all knowing, all powerful, all present. Amen!
Matthew 10:30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. ESV
Psalm 44:21 would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart. ESV
1 Kings 8:39 then hear from heaven where you live, and forgive. Give your people what their actions deserve, for you alone know each human heart. NLT
Jeremiah 32:27 “I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?” NLT
Ephesians 1:19-23 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. ESV
Jeremiah 23:23-24 “Am I a God at hand, declares the Lord, and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord.Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord. ESV
Psalm 139:7-10 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. NLT