Hands wrap a warm cup of coffee. Easily I take another breath. My eyes gaze through the window and notice sunlight dancing on bright green leaves. In the background, I hear my daughter behind her plain white bedroom door. Her shouts of delight and I can image her, holding her “Ba Ba Bear” snuggling it close. And at the end of the house in the office, the sound of keys typing as my husband works from home.
I breathe. I am full. Much to be thankful for. Love is here. All around me.
And yet, just a few days ago I was overwhelmed, afraid, sad, and uncertain. Thoughts were plaguing my mind. Thoughts like, “I can’t do this. I am a poor mother and wife. I am too tired. What if I mess up bad?” And on and on.
I let the enemy’s lies flood in. I was not resting. Resting in the full assurance of God and who He is.
Instead, I was trying to muster up the courage. I was trying to be strong all on my own. My own strength was failing me. My own strength was that of a falling Autumn leaf.
The truth is, on my own, I will mess up. On my own, I will be a poor wife and mother. However, the story does not end there for me. It does not end there for you.
Hope. There is great hope in the Lord. He can turn our weakness into strength. It is a matter of acknowledging God. Letting go. Letting go of that spirit of fear that we so desperately want to hold onto. That spirit we think is our weapon. No, we are mistaken. That spirit of fear is the enemy’s trap, a place of confusion.
In the hope of the Lord, we find the true armor. The true armor to fight the daily spiritual battles. Whether we like it or not we are in warfare. Daily. Warfare for our souls.
Rest in God. Let God fight your battles. Victory is already His.
I know it’s difficult. It is difficult to throw out words like hope, spirit, fear, warfare. Words we can’t touch. Words we can’t hold in our hands. As I mentioned earlier, I still struggle some days. Struggle believing in hope, struggle letting go, struggle resting in God.
In the past, I have walked the dark road of depression. I have cried those tears of pain and confusion. Somehow in all that darkness, in all that pain I am here now. Breathing. And while there are rough days I have joy. I have hope. I have peace. No matter the storm. God is near. Even when we can not feel Him.
I know it is difficult. It’s like your heart. You can’t hold it. But it is in there. You have to trust it is inside you.
When things get dark. Lies invade your mind and heart. You have to keep believing God is near. Hold onto His promise like you hold onto your heart. With clarity. With the knowledge that it exists even when it is not in your hands.
Love is near. Love is always nearer than you think.
Romans 5:5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. NLT
Psalm 42:5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation. ESV
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. ESV
Psalm 33:18 Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, ESV
John 14:1 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.” NKJV
Ephesians 6:11-17 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. NLT